like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
