I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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