Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Randomize
