I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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