the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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