then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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