he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
