I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
The air taste purple.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
