No stitches, just platelets and will power
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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