is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
