My balls are so social today.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
