He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
