No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
