Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
