i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I want you more than these girls want KFC
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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