like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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