Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize