R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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