If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
