does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
