all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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