fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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