Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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