I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
