I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I checked into jail on foursquare
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
