super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
