sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize