I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
