At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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