We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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