yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
