Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
