my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
