I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize