Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize