guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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