I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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