So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
