I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
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