I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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