Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize