we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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