This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize
