My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
