I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
