would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Randomize
