So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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