I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
