The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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