dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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