Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
