just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
