I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
