no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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