omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
