My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
