im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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