apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
