Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
