Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
