you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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