he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
