I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
