I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
